You Are Who Your Friends Are

Tell me thy company, and I'll tell thee what thou art.
- Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616)

I’ve been looking for this quote all morning. It’s by the author of “Don Quixote.” Of course there are several variations, but my favorite take on it is, “You are who your friends are.” This is a hard idea to debate mainly because there are many grey areas. Most of us don’t hang around drug dealers, murderers, and politicians. But what I think this quote is referring to is whether or not we surround ourselves with honorable people.

Now honor is not being a “good” person. Just because you haven’t literally stolen some ones money or blatantly lied to people, doesn’t mean you are honorable. Being honorable means doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do; having a keen sense of ethical conduct; knowing that the ends do not justify the means.

A person can be a nice guy and good person but still act unethically. For example: Take a father who is good to his kids, loves his wife, and helps his neighbors and friends whenever he can. But on the other hand, he’s been collecting unemployment for years, without having any intention of looking for a job. Although, what he’s doing may be “legal,” it’s not honorable or ethical.

So, referring to the above quote, knowing an unethical person isn’t wrong. Helping that person isn’t wrong. But keeping that person in close company as a good friend simply suggests that you not only are accepting of that person’s actions but encourage it.

Some of you might be saying, “Jesus surrounded himself with thieves and murderers.” And you’re right. But you’re not Jesus. Most of us aren’t even priests, preachers, missionaries, therapists, or even life coaches. Our daily job isn’t to console or council others on their lives and moral behavior.

And to say, “I tell my friend to act better all the time,” only suggests that you don’t think highly of yourself. You should surround yourself with people that act honorably and expect you to act honorably.

But the quote isn’t just about honor and ethics. It’s also about respect. Respect for ourselves as well as others. If we associate ourselves with people that don’t respect us and our morals, how can we have respect for ourselves?

So surround yourself with positive, respectful, and honorable people, and you intern will become as they are.